I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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