I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
