Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
