I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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