I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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