69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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