I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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