am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
