Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
