he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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