the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
