You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
