I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
