I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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