i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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