Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
