I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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