we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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