Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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