True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
