I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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