census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
