doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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