Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
