No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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