3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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