Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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