you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
