did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
