jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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