Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
