The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
