she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
