just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
