Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize