1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
