i barfeds in our rink
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The best revenge is premature balding
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
