I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize