Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
