Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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