dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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