Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
