So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They took my balls.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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