you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
