At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
