Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids