This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!