my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
