He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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