why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
