Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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