Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize