It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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