you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
