Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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