its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
