Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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