You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
