WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
