I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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