Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
