yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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