had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
