i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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