just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
